Winning and losing: it's an inside job

Back when I was reading Kessler's The End of Overeating, I became acutely aware of that small moment of decision, when I am about to eat something I know is not healthy. I wanted to be more aware of my inner dialogue, and how I kept derailing my dieting efforts. I wanted to tune in to what I say to justify my choices.  You know, those "sabotaging" thoughts, that "devil" that is whispering (or yelling) into one of my ears. I decided to not do much other than observe. It was very interesting to hear what I say to myself when I am craving something. I can be very willfull and defiant. Other times, I may hear a mellower tone, kind of a "go with the flow," "if it feels good do it" voice. Rationalization's always been one of my strong suits.

The whole point of this exploration is to do things differently this time.  I am willing to take more time this time, so I can find a solution that will work for me for a lifetime of temptations.

A few years ago, I heard about Laurel Mellin's work and her book The Solution.  She was definitely on to some of what makes people get themselves into trouble with food and excess body weight.  The emotional component is a big one.  Developing an awareness of what I'm feeling in relation to what I am driven to eat is certainly important.  I know that when I dive into binging behaviors, there are always strong feelings associated with them, even if I choose to ignore this reality.  The problem with The Solution was that Mellin's approach was a LOT of work, and I wasn't ready to invest my time in the work.  She's now expanded into The Pathway, and Emotional Brain Training (EBT), to take on more than just food issues.  I imagine she's helped many people with her work.

As I begin to synthesize the various messages I have received -- through self-observation; my explorations of theories and approaches; my many attempts at dieting (both successful and un-); my hit-and-miss approach to exercise; the new science that's out there about food: craving and reward; about our own biological evolution in relation to feast and famine; the crazy variety and availability of food; along with the statistics on the growing girth of the population and all the avoidable disease that accompanies it... Oy. That's a lot to process.

I have decided to give Judith Beck's version of the solution a try.  Rather than Mellin's EBT, I'm going to go for Beck's CBT -- Cognitive Behavior Therapy.  Again, a fair amount of work, a definite commitment of my time, but I feel it's do-able.  At some point, I'll fold in my eTools from Weight Watchers to track what I'm eating.  I'll also incorporate insights from The Instinct (or "I") Diet, by Susan Roberts.  I want to train my brain to crave healthier stuff!  I'll also apply what has motivated me from John Ratey's Spark about the many payoffs that come with exercise.

But I'll take my time... as they say, it's an "inside job."  Slow and steady wins the race...